kflandre1的部落格

The other day, we got a very simple query to our love advice
column:

"Dear Stella: How do I know if he really loves me$%:"

This is Stella's common-sense answer to her:

---------------------------------------

The only real, accurate test for true love is the test of
time. I think I would be able to give a more concise answer
here if I knew how long you two had been together. If you've
only been dating a matter of a few weeks or months, then
it's far too soon to get serious and try to nail this guy
down about his feelings. Let things unfold in their own good
time. Love should never be rushed.

And you should NEVER pressure a guy about matters of the
heart! This one little bit of advice can save you much
heartache. Women are known to be impatient about this; for
some reason, they just "gotta know". And most have learned
the hard way that pressing the "love issue" too hard and
fast can quickly destroy a potentially wonderful match up.

My best answer to you is "wait and see". After that first
magical glow of infatuation fades, what is left$%: Do you find
him less and less attentive to you; less and less
affectionate, "missing in action" more often than not$%: Those
are classic signs that he may be losing interest, and
therefore not truly be in love with you.

Now, on the other hand, have you two been together a year or
two, or even more$%: My advice to you is this ... time for
some honest soul searching. At this point, the "infatuation"
stage has long passed. The relationship should have gelled
and matured by now. Do an honest appraisal of this
partnership:

* Have you two turned into best friends$%:

* Are you comfortable together, not having to put on a front with each other$%:

* Have you created a cozy intimacy and understanding that no one else is allowed to enter$%:

* Does he prefer to just hang around with you at home, more and more$%:

* Does he treat you with respect and confide in you some of his secrets and fears$%:

* Does he trust you with some of his most tender and sensitive thoughts$%:

* Does he ask you for advice$%:

* Do you laugh together$%:

* Does he show you affection and thoughtfulness IN HIS OWN WAY$%: (Not your way)$%:

If you can honestly say yes to most of these probing
questions, then this is probably TRUE LOVE. And yes, he
really loves you.